Concert Etiquette : Think Pieces That Make Sense

CONCERT ETIQUETTE
#thinkpiecesthatmakesense

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Disclaimer : This is the result of the accumulation of various isolated, unfortunate events, topped by one more bad concert experience aka the icing on the cake. 
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  • Don’t turn your back at the band playing.
  • Don’t bring your beer into the pit. Stay in the back or near the bar, where your drunkass belong.
  • Don’t spend the whole show making out or do it in an appropriate place (get a room).
  • Don’t scream at your friends and don’t have loud conversations while the band plays.
  • Don’t bump into people trying to make your way to the front. Have a sense of personal space. Be aware of your surroundings, really.
  • Don’t attend the show if you really don’t care about the band. It’s a good thing you give them your money but you should also give them your respect.
  • Don’t leave the venue halfway through the show. Respect the money you earned.
  • Don’t be rude, don’t be a douche. I guess you got the point.
  • Don’t film the whole show. You paid for a live experience, not a poor quality film on your small cellphone screen. You probably won’t watch the videos afterwards anyway. And the people behind you didn’t pay for a performance of your arm raised in the air.
  • Maybe don’t stand in front of small people if you are a fucking giant.
  • When you see two friends standing next to each other, why do you think you can pass inbetween them ? Where the fuck do you see there is enough space to do so when you can clearly pass around ? Why are you being a dick ?
  • Stop throwing your beer glass in the air. You paid for it and no one asked for a shower.
  • Don’t abuse drugs or alcohol. It won’t be fun either for you or the people around you.
  • Don’t take selfies on stage. Don’t take selfies off stage. Don’t take selfies (during the show. You can do it while you’re pooping, no one cares).
  • Don’t be inappropriate to the band. Don’t touch them without their consent.
  • Don’t hurt people on purpose.
  • The stage is not yours so when you stagedive, don’t stand there like you’re waiting for the bus. Unless you want to get hit by a bus.
  • Going to a show with your mates is fun. But it’s not a reason for y’all to act like fucking kids.
  • Don’t be an attention whore. No one gives a fuck about your two-step skills, even though you spent hours practicing in your bedroom. This show is not about you. Maybe you could start a contest in your hometown. Who knows.
  • Don’t push people around just so you can get to the front for your lame crowdsurf.
  • If you’re front row, please, know that you’re going to have people land on you so be prepared to catch them. They count on you.
  • Don’t hold hands. Like. It’s not a walk in the park.
  • Don’t hold your significant other as though they were in danger. This is a pit, not a war. You are not a human shield, you’re plain annoying.
  • Don’t crowdsurf with your backpack on. You’re not a Ninja Turtle.
  • Respect the crew, as themerchdude  says. If you don’t understand this, you have a problem and you need an intervention.
  • If you hurt someone while doing your thing and see it, please, go apologize. Don’t be an inconsiderate prick.
  • Pick up people who fall during circle pits. This is a scene, not a goddamn cemetery ok.
  • When the band plays a slow song, please, don’t scream like a fucking pig. It’s not your cue to be a loud asshole. And don’t tell them you love them or to get naked. They know and they won’t (also, this is sort of catcalling and I don’t think you want to be that kind of disgusting person. Do you ?)
  • The band is not your mates. Unless they are Australians.
  • Chanting the band’s name is…meh
  • Don’t go on stage like a fucking savage to take the setlist or other items, as picks or drumsticks. Deserve it, goddammit.
  • If you’re front row, don’t spend the whole show with your phone in front of your face. Remember you are in front of human beings and that moment is unique. Don’t let an Instagram post ruin your experience. You could miss some things.
  • The pit is not a vagina free zone so don’t push girls out of it. We deserve our fun too. And we can go as hard as you. Yet, it’s not a reason to be fucking violent but eh, that’s another debate.
  • Don’t touch girls. Don’t. Wait for it…your hand on my ass, my fist in your teeth.
  • If you’re front row, show a little bit of excitement. Sometimes, you’re the only person the band can see and yeah, just be excite, goddammit.
  • If people next to you have the time of their lives, let them have it and don’t be a little cry baby because you don’t enjoy it as much as them. Sorry not sorry if you’re 5 people jumping in the middle of the pit when everyone around is checking Snapchat.
  • In general, be open to support bands. Don’t assume they are going to be bad. Or come later. Also, remember that these support bands are often chosen by the headliner so show a little respect. And don’t ruin the moment for people who came to see the support bands.
  • If you see something happening that you find odd, don’t stand still. Be the hero no one asks for.
  • Support your local scene but do it wisely.
  • Long story shot : don’t be an asshole. Enjoy yourself. Let people around you enjoy themselves. Enjoy. Or get fucked. Really. Cheers !

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Words : (Angry) Karen V. & Gaëlle P. 

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